I feel like looking at some cute kitty pictures, don’t you?
Let’s play a game! Which one doesn’t belong?
Have you guessed? It’s easy, I know. I just thought it’d be cute and something different. Haha.
Welcome! I wish I could start with “this week” or “this month,” but my posts are far too sporadic for me to use such phrases. This round of movie reviews should be short and sweet, for there wasn’t much to pick on with regard to these films. The funny thing about this group is that before watching them, I had doubts about each one. Click the titles to watch the trailer.
“Retired. Extremely Dangerous.”
When I first heard that, I laughed. Not, “Oh! That’s so funny,” but, “Wow. That’s a dumb premise.” But, I will be the first to say MAN WAS I WRONG.
The movie was a little slow at the beginning. It wasn’t too bad, nor was it slow for a too long. Once it picked up, the action never ended. When it took a break, the comedy stood by to entertain in its place.
The acting impressed me. They made me laugh, cry, sit on the edge of my seat, and shout at the screen.
- Sarah, played by Mary-Louise Parker, is an adorable, funny, and very natural character. I didn’t feel that she stressed or forced her performance at all. I loved from Scene 1.
- Victoria, played by the beautiful Helen Mirren, had me at, “I kill people, dear,” as she shrugged nonchalantly. Watching this woman kick ass was the best part of the night. Got to love strong women.
- Also in the photo is John Malkovich. Possibly the epicenter of comedy in this film. You got to check out his pig!
Nothing worse than an awful plot, right? Right. Well, fortunately, RED had an awesome storyline. I’m not going to give it away. I will, however, warn you that it’s one of those movies that a young child wouldn’t understand very well. It’s fast-paced and intelligent, a movie you’ve got to sit all the way through.
But, no film is flawless, so I must bring its blemishes to light.
Although the characters were complete and real, some relationships (but not all) between each other could have used a little more development. The love angle between Sarah and Frank (Bruce Willis) came out clean and well paced. Victoria’s love story felt too vague, and I really, really, REALLY wanted to see it elaborated on.
The only other spot that comes to mind is the scene (it’s in the trailer, so I’m not calling it a spoiler!) where John Malkovich’s character, Marvin, shoots an incoming RPG. Unbelievable. Not that he couldn’t hit a target so small or moving so quickly; with training that could be done. When the bullet and RPG collided, the explosion flew completely backward. Now, I’m no physicist, but I’m pretty sure the explosion wouldn’t move in one direction. I picture it engulfing its surroundings very equally.
All in all, I give this movie 5 stars out of 5. I may actually buy this movie when it comes out on DVD. (Or maybe by then, I’ll have moved up in the world and got a Blu-Ray player.😛 )
So, when I saw this trailer, I was thinking, “How do you make a full-length movie about one run-away train? Impossible.” I’m on a wrong streak for sure.
They paced this movie so well, I was shocked, impressed, and on the edge of my seat the entire time. I literally sprinted through the hall when I had to go to the bathroom in the middle of the movie. I didn’t want to miss a single second of it.
To my surprise, the writers even added backstory, a commonly forgotten aspect in books and films. Not only did they have backstory, they had interesting backstory. The characters all had lives, families, and something to lose. It made relating to them and felling compassionate for them come naturally.
There was a fair amount of comedy, which is always a good thing. And a dumb, fat idiot who should have died, but didn’t. Go figure!
Oh, and the best part?
(I know this picture cuts off, but let’s be honest. I’m too tired to try to fix it, and you can see his pretty face just fine. It’s gonna stay the way it is.)
Huh. Well, that’s about it. It was a darn good movie. I’m not sure I’d change anything, but I could just be forgetting something. Oh well! Go see it! 5 stars!
After my comment in the last post about me getting on a schedule… well, that hasn’t happened. Not sure it will. Haha. Well, this was fun. Over and out!
P.S. HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!
This time around, we’ve less controversial movies to discuss. Predators, The Wolfman, and Resident Evil: Afterlife. I forgot the order in which I saw them, so there’s no particular order… Well, almost no particular order. ;)
Where to begin…
How about with THIS!
Oh, yeah. Good place to start. Adrien Brody. The first time I laid eyes on him, he wrote plays in the film “King Kong.” (Although he’s most famous for ‘the Pianist.’) After watching him scour the jungle and hunt those hunting him in ‘Predators’, I had to find out more. Turns out, Brody dedicated himself 110% to his role as Royce. He spent time sleeping in the jungle, working out every day with heavy weights and high reps, giving up sugar, and (prepare yourselves, ladies!) he gave up sex.
Dedication. And it was worth it, too. I clung to the edge of my seat throughout the entirety of the film. It thrived with action and had an excellent core idea. The acting of nearly every person in this movie left me satisfied and like I’d just witnessed actually people battle on a strange planet. 5 stars for acting.
Like always, though, this movie had a downside. There was a lack of backstory. I noted many opportunities within the film to expand on the pasts of the characters. We got small tastes of who was who and why, but I wasn’t completely satisfied.
In addition, I’m not a fan of cliffhanger endings. There better be a sequel, or Robert Rodriquez will be receiving a strongly worded letter from yours truly. All in all, the movie rocked! I recommend it highly to anyone who likes to sit on the edge and squeeze the stuffing from the arms of his seat.
THE WOLFMAN (2010)
** Mild Spoiler Warning **
Let me share with you a common goal of anticipated movies.
I can honestly say I waited anxiously for the release of this movie. The trailer captured my attention, plus I have a diehard passion for werewolves… and gore. So, naturally, I couldn’t wait. I saw it in theaters.
- Midnight show of ‘The Wolfman’.
- “I *heart* Werewolves” T-Shirt (no correlation to ‘Twilight’ at ALL).
- Lots of popcorn… and chocolate, of course.
- Best friend.
Mix and let bake for 1 hour and 42 minutes. You should expect a brilliant movie that brings the classic werewolf to life and a perfect evening.
Unfortunately, such a foolproof recipe doesn’t exist.
In defense of ‘The Wolfman’, the movie had immense potential. The plot was solid. The picture was excellent. Set was impeccable. Emily Blunt rocked it.
Sadly, there were too many negative components to earn my approval. First off, Benicio Del Toro. From frame one, my initial focus was on how ugly the guy is. Now, I know some women who find him sexy. Well, I’m not one of them, and I’m writing this review.😉 If Joe Johnston’s casting director had chosen a universally attractive male for the main role, the movie may have been salvaged.
I’d have been too lost in his looks to notice how AWFUL the effects were. I mean, really? ‘Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban’ had a better werewolf, and it’s 6 years old. Should have just added some hair to that guy. Take a look:
Okay, does anyone know what they used for fur? My guess would be steel wool. Next, correct me if I’m wrong, a wolf’s snout is longer than a human nose. Why on earth would the wolfman’s nose shrink?
And this guy looks like man-bear-pig! (← Watch Funny Video in New Window)
Check out that evolution, too. It’s only been 69 years. We can’t expect too much from visual effects. If you really want some good effects, I’d suggest James Cameron’s ‘Avatar.’
Lastly, we have the battle scene between Del Toro and Hopkins. What is this? 1997? Let’s try ‘believeablilty’ next time, Johnston. Please. For the sake of my sanity.
Personally, I adore Sir Anthony, but this is probably the only movie he’s done that disappointed me.
I’m thoroughly anguished by this movie. Such high hopes had been held by my friend and I. But, there’s the saying ‘The higher your hopes, the harder they fall.’ So, you may like this movie more than I did. It all depends on where your expectations lie. Good luck.
RESIDENT EVIL: AFTERLIFE
I had the great pleasure to lose my “Real-D 3D” (whatever that is) virginity to this movie. And I must say.. I don’t regret it. =’ ]
First, I’ve got to ask. How the HELL do they do that with those glasses? Anyone who can answer that gets a gold star. I was baffled and actually squealed with excitement. So, please, someone clue me in!
Now, on to the movie content.
I’ve got to be honest here. I never saw the first and second installments of Resident Evil, but after Apocalypse and Afterlife, you can count on me buying the series. Granted the zombie thing’s been done before, I’m not sure anyone as badass as Milla Jovovich has taken them on.
Now, despite my love for Milla, she’s not very sexy. Don’t get me wrong, she’s gorgeous. She just lacks that captivating swagger. At least in my opinion. Ironically, 97% of her pictures online are provocative. But, I think her real-ness helps make this movie so spectacular. She’s a fantastic actress, and honestly, it’s awesome watching girls kick ass. Girl power!
The action, pacing, acting, and plot were all dead on in this film. It left me wondering why Paul W.S. Anderson isn’t as popular as James Cameron, Peter Jackson, or Michael Bay. The man needs some recognition!
My only negative comments are about effects. Overall, they were pretty decent. Two instances stand out in my mind, though. A certain backflip done by Ali Larter (who actually did pretty well with the action scenes despite her lack of experience) and Milla’s entrance massacre. Aside from those scenes, the movie was full of twists and edge-of-your-seat moments. I gasped a few times and said, “Whoa!” and “Holy cow!”
Great movie. Go see it 3D. 6 stars on a scale of 1 to 5.
That wraps up this segment of Movie Reviews.
I’ll do this more often. Along with other posts. I’ve been absent for awhile. It’d be nice to change that. Become an actual blogger. Woot. Crap.. That means I should probably get on a schedule. :O
As you may have gathered from my previous post, (the funny picture) I recently saw the new installment to the Twilight saga. I’ve mentioned before that I’m not diehard fan, nor am I a spiteful critic. (I am Team Jacob, however.😛 What a hottie.) Anyway, I was pleasantly surprised with the film.
It appears as though Kristin Stewart has had acting lessons. Her performance in the first two movies was absolutely abhorrent. This time, though, it improved vastly. I was able to laugh at her jokes, not roll my eyes at how poorly she delivered them.
Taylor Lautner had more screen time. Which is always good. Girls, I like seeing him shirtless just as much as you, but you don’t need to gasp and “woot” every time he’s on-screen.
The cheesy romance made me go “awwwh” despite the fact that it was that sort of romance a 12-year-old girl would write and wouldn’t really happen in reality.
Overall, I was pleased with the movie. I would watch it again, and I would recommend it.
Avatar: The Last Airbender
I was a faithful viewer of the cartoon series on Nickelodean. (Laugh it up. Everyone has a guilty pleasure. Mine are creative cartoon series. I like Naruto, too!) Anywho, I loved the series.
Didn’t like the movie.
I swear the actors were cast solely for the voice similarity between themselves and the voiceovers of the show. The acting was LESS than mediocre. Poor Jackson Rathbone was drowning in a sea of awful actors. In one scene, he was looking around with a worried expression. I doubt it was because of the fight scene.😉
The next thing that bugged me were the show’s trademark words. Aang? Avatar? Agni Kai? Sokka? Iroh? They were all pronounced wrong throughout the entire movie. I doubt anyone, including the director, even watched the show. Every time someone said those words, I cringed. Literally.
Character development. From the beginning, we don’t see how close Sokka and Katara are. The relationship between Sokka and Yue is poorly portrayed. We see Sokka cry over her dead body, but why? They didn’t appear close at all. The same goes for Aang, Sokka and Katara. The trio becomes very tight and loyal throughout the series. By the end scene, they seemed like they were still new acquaintances to me. I didn’t connect with a SINGLE character with the exception of Aang when he mourned the loss of his monk family.
Finally, I must complain about the plot execution. They speed through the damn thing. If I didn’t know the story, I would probably have been lost. This movie should have been at least three hours long to cover all the NECESSARY bases. Even IF they cut things. The whole point of the series is to follow Aang’s quest to become the Avatar. Not Zuko. As much as I adored Zuko’s cartoon character, he was not the center point of the plot. The Fire Nation got too much screen time. (But the Blue Spirit should have had more. To increase the mystery.)
I lied, I have more complaints. The dialogue was severely repetitious. People said things that were completely impertinent to the plot. They could have taken out SO much and added way more important things. I should have directed this damn movie. I wanted it done right SO BAD!
The only thing that didn’t disappoint was special effects. The bending (although the actors’ movements were over dramatic) was excellent. With the exception of a few scenes, it looked 100% real.
Overall, I was thoroughly disappointed. I hope they can make the next ones better. Or I may have to write M. Night Shamalamamoron a strongly worded letter.
As far as recommendations go, watch the series. It’s not quite as lame as it may seem. I laugh quite a bit. Once you’ve seen the whole series, then you can watch the movie. But not unless you feel like being disappointed.
Your typical zombie movie?
Yes and no.
There were several distinguishing points among muddle of not-so-original ideas. For example, the plane crash/water contamination was new (at least to me) and enjoyable. However, there have been a few zombie movies where it’s been all the government’s fault. Boo-hoo.
Admittedly, I laughed at some parts that were supposed to be scary. But, I jumped a few times. The action was very frequent and attention drawing.
But it was predictable.
At one point I said, “Hm. We haven’t seen a Crazy in a while.” Then poof! Out popped a Crazy. Either the film was excessively predictable, or I’ve just seen too many movies to be surprised by twists.
I’d recommend this if you don’t have to pay more than a dollar to watch it.
Well, I personally thought this was hilarious. But, it doesn’t take much to make me laugh. I’m one of those easily humored individuals.😀
So, when I saw this, you can only imagine how I cracked up. Oh, Wisconsin geniuses.
Come smell our Dairy Air!! Our heads will be right there with yours!!
I took this, by the way.
EDIT: Unfortunately, I cannot figure out how to get the picture on here.. So, if you REALLY wanna laugh, go ahead and lick the link.
I’ve posted a new flash called, “News.”
Seeing as how I have never used the present tense in writing, I decided to try it out in a flash. I’ll admit, I don’t like it much, and I probably won’t use it again. I took a good idea for a flash and crippled the story by using poor narrative. Bummer.
Maybe I’ll rewrite it one day. Who knows? Please leave comments with your opinion! Thank you!